Normally Chrisitanity makes sense to me.
These last 6 months it hasn't made as much sense to me. I write this knowing that most of the readers would be Christian so I speak more freely assuming that you will understand that I don't intend to say that I question the fact that Jesus is my Lord, son of God, and Savior. He is and will always be.
But my life just isn't making sense. Every desire I have seems to be brought down and proven wrong. Every instinct I listen to is wrong. Every time I think there is reasoning, the reasoning doesn't come true. Every advantage I think I have turns out to be a hindrance.
With all this in the last few weeks it has pushed me away from seeking comfort anymore. I feel like any of the comfort I seek will turn out to be a false comfort. As soon as things make sense I just need to wait a week or so and then that will slowly fade.
It's weird when you're in a rut but you choose to stay in it. At least you know you won't fall back in again if you never get out. Okay, thats super emo and not where I'm going to stay, but those are my words for now.
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