Bigger and better

So I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how big God is. And how we cannot even comprehend the real answer to that statement. In my reading it speaks about God’s plans for us, a topic that I’ve been especially fond of the last few months. “God wants us to get where he wants us to be more then we want to get where God wants us to be” Quote from the book. It took me a few times reading it to comprehend it in its entirety. I find myself so concerned with messing up Gods plan, with making the wrong choices, not hearing His spirit correctly, doing my will and not His. In all my worrying I’ve just been proving to myself that by me thinking I’m in control, I’ve been doing that exact thing I’m afraid of, my will.

If we can figure out a way to rest in His enormity and power then His will would be done in our lives. A car drove past me today and it had the Jesus fish on it. I’ve seen this a million times but if made me laugh today. Is that really Jesus? I literally pictured a mini Jesus clinging on to the back of the car. I think that can be seen as the perfect example in our life. Lets say the car is our life…(stay with me here) and we throw a little flashy appealable Jesus on it for everyone to see. We want everyone to see Jesus, out of sincere intentions. We’re proud of our faith and who Jesus is. But is that what Jesus does for us? Does he tattoo our name on His skin to say, “Hey, look, I like this person.” No, He’s too busy being engulfed and overwhelmed with loving us that anything like that would just take His time away from His true passion, us. He doesn’t care about doing things to show other people how much He loves us, He’s too busy loving us. The Jesus Fish is an ornament. But what if in my fun little world we were sitting in and driving the Jesus fish, because that was our purpose. And the car (anything worldly) were things we’d stick onto the outside of Jesus. What if Jesus was the ABSOLUTE purpose we took every single individual step. Why isn’t it like that? Why are we living a life WITH Jesus and not a life FOR Jesus.

What if we TRUSTED that Jesus was big enough for us not to decide our own lives. What if we could confidently say I will be on this planet for my time for your purpose, not my own. Not to be successful, not to be liked, and not even for creating a family of our own. What if we trusted that He’ll give us those things if He wants us to have them, and we stopped trying to get them. What if I didn’t get done with college in 4 years. (obviously) What if I cared more about sincerely taking care of one person then keeping five other people, “pleased” with me. What if His will would be done in our lives, what if we truly wanted His will to be done in our lives, and gave up anything we wanted to have that happen.

It all goes back to how big do we thing God is? The book also says that a person is defined by what they think when they think about God. If you think He’s a small metal symbol on your car then what hand are you allowing Him to have in your life? What are you doing for Him and what is He doing for you? What are you allowing yourself to see about Him? What is He allowing you to see about Him, and who YOU are? I think God still works whenever and however He wants to in our lives. But shoot, if you’re can’t see that it’s your creator sculpting your life…its like having a blindfold and earplugs in while sitting in an Oscar winning film. Or any Will Smith movie for that matter. You miss everything, Every scene, even though you’re sitting in the theater. Now I see why people feel like they don’t have a purpose when they don’t believe in Christ. He’s the one who already decided our purpose, so if we can’t see ourselves through His eyes we don’t see anything, not even ourselves.

There will be much more to follow. This feels like the most obnoxious unorganized thing I’ve ever written. Welp, there goes my blogging for you.

Peace from the East (coast)