Dearly Loved.

Every week the taste of a wine soaked wafer on my tongue makes my legs weak and my heart ache. As I hear and feel the wafer crack under the weight of my jaw I think about His body. That's the part that makes my legs weak. As I taste the wine I know that His blood is the sacrifice that supplies my joy and my victory. That's the part that makes my heart ache.

My 24th birthday was on the 19th. Most of that day was spent thinking about how old I was. In 3rd grade we filled out a list of our life plans for our 20's. I'm pretty sure I had a few things on that list that I planned on accomplishing by this age but haven't quite yet done so. Don't tell my teacher...

I wouldn't have said this a year ago, but I'll say it now, I have regrets. But in those regrets I think of the things that I was doing while not finishing my degree....

        A. Spending 3.5 months in North Carolina with my cousins who absolutely stole my heart and continue to do so with every interaction.
        B. Spending the same months in North Carolina where I spent my time getting to know who I am, how God made me, and what I'm to do with all that.
        C. Spending 2 months in Atlanta where I found out I can make it anywhere because God is my supplier and is always at my side.
        D. Being a committed (and at times not so committed) Young Life leader. Discovering how to constantly serve and give of myself. Spending time surrounded by people who showed me what it's like to truly love Jesus.
        E. Community. Diving head first into friendships and conversations. Being challenged and challenging those I love.
        F. Relationships, 2 of em. Learning. Learning that I go all in. I'm quick to sacrifice who I am and what I want to accomplish. When it comes to someone I care about if they need something from me, I give it. I haven't decided to be more selfish, I'm happy with my willingness to be selfless and committed. I've just learned that the next time I do that it needs to be with someone who won't allow me to sacrifice the things that are essential to who I am.
        G. Traveling. Going places and experiencing people. Realizing that every interaction with another person is an opportunity for me to benefit their life and them to change mine.
        H. Nannying. A lot of nannying. I have a deep set love of children. In my quest for a husband, being confident that he'll be a good father will be the thing that drives me to the man God has for me.


In conclusion I'm old and biting my nails till the day I get into nursing school. God is good and He hasn't allowed my wasted days to go, well, wasted.

I'm choosing to lay off facebook and fill that time with my heart. My heart being an all encompassing term for me and Jesus. This will most likely lead to more blog posts. Jesus makes me think and if you've ever met me you know that if I think, I speak.