Question marks and exclamations.

So possibly here comes the point that I'm tested. The point that I figure out what I'm supposed to be gaining from experiences, old and new.

"A Christian worker has to learn how to be God’s man or woman of great worth and excellence in the midst of a multitude of meager and worthless things." From today's' entry of Utmost by Oswald Chambers. The writing ends with a simple sentence. "Let Him have His way"

What does that mean in my life? What do with the failures that I've created with not letting Him have His way? More importantly what do I do with the successes that have been created out of my awesome Savior because I didn't let Him have His way? Where does the line get drawn? I wonder if at one point the past is done with, or should I be allowing it to be teaching, growing, and shaping me. Do I remember hard lessons because I should still be learning from them, or do I close the door once I feel God has shown me what I need to see. But does he every stop showing you things? Is it my human nature to keep experiences and wounds open so that I can validate pain by continuously learning from it? Christ has granted me healing, perspective, and growth that is only of Him in my life, with many many different battles. I feel like He wants the door closed on those experiences. But will I still see what He needs me to while blocking my heart? What is His way in all of this?

When do we learn enough? How do we decide whether or not we're done learning? Are we ever? I'm sick of all the question marks in this blog. Here's where I'm at. I'll know He's done what he's needed to when I see His wisdom in me. At times I see it, for sure, then I slip, and it makes me question if I truly gained what I was supposed to from following Him. I'm not gonna close something, think that I have it under control then be blinded in the same ways. That's a disservice to him and what He's willing to provide me.

This entry doesn't have a closing paragraph yet....